Ah! Now dear compatriots it suddenly all becomes clear to us here at the Cactus. For more than two years we have been wondering why did the Prince’s closest friends, advisors and confidantes turn against him? Why did they feel the need to move sneakily behind his back and betray his trust?

Well, our recent bit of sleuthing has uncovered a most interesting tidbit of information regarding the finances of one of the G4’s most trusted advisors, who is their mentor as well as their tool bag. The ancient communications director of the palace runs his own communications firm, YRSA Communications. Another example of Paris based companies seeing our principality as just another market to exploit. Plenty of fish in the barrel down south they say!

But maybe competitive entrepreneurship is not for everyone perhaps? YRSA Communications was able to lose 126,000 euros in 2023! What an achievement indeed! That is almost five months of residence in the rooms of a luxury hotel on the Côte d'Azur. Especially if we look at 2022 and see that the company was able to make a moderate profit of 79,000 euros instead (mainly thanks to the state of Monaco).

What could be the difference between the two years this causes us to wonder? This reversal in fortunes did take place at the same time that our communicator was chased away. So, dear fellow Monegasques, we have an approximate figure that this man, thanks to the help of his friends, was taking from our principality each year without remorse (or any discernable service rendered).

205,000 reasons to be happy that we are rid of these types around here…

They say money can’t buy friends - but it sure can buy a better vacation home! And if there’s one thing Yves Romestan believes, it’s “Mes amis sont ma richesse” (Eng. “My friends are my wealth”). Quite literally, in his case.

Take Thierry Lacoste, for example. The two are so close that they can’t stop seeing each other. Romestan’s dear old friend, who’s been blessed with a very comfortable lifestyle - thanks to his late wife’s generous fortune (RIP, but what a legacy!), as well as the exploitation of his only client, the Prince. While both men enjoy the finer things in life, their bank balances seem to tell very different stories. A casual dinner? Oh, Romestan is there - but what about his credit card? Now, that’s the million-dollar question. A fancy car? Well, we don’t have to have the same taste. Thierry’s Aston Martin is lovely but just like a real friend, he is ready to jump into Yves’ Peugeot.

And then there are their holiday homes in France. Yves’ place is lovely, really, but compared to Thierry’s estate, it might as well be a glorified Airbnb. A real château vs. charming cottage? No contest. But hey, not everyone can be lucky in love and real estate! Some just have to settle for old school friends.

Life is hard out there in the real world. Paris, with its dirty streets, wild rats roaming through the city, constant traffic jams, is not the same as the sunny Principality. But when you are too greedy or try and take the place of the Prince, it is easy to lose the spot in paradise. It seems that at least 2 of the G4 started realizing their mistake. Thierry Lacoste and Didier Linotte spotted in Paris sitting on the bench, sadly looking down… and reconsidering their life choices? Ah, if only they hadn’t fallen into the delirium of their leader, Palmero.

One thing we know for sure – Thierry should learn how to sit on the bench like everyone else, like Linotte for example. Unless the two friends are trying to experiment with different techniques in the hope of getting back on their feet or finding new pigeons…

What does Yves Romestan do with all of his time now that he is no longer running the personal communications of the Palais Princiere? We suppose that someone who was chosen for such a prestigious position at the very top of our principality’s political echelons would be dedicating his time to running a successful business. Or at least putting to use the high qualifications and skills that got him his position by the side of the Prince in the first place.

Eh bien non, it seems that he has other things on his mind. Over 26,800 other things to be specific...

According to various sources close to the Colonel of Communications, since his checkmate in Monaco, he has developed an addictive habit of putting aside his work and responsibilities in favor of playing blitz games. Having played more than 26,800 games since 2022, he has played chess for an average of two hours a day!

At this rate, it does not surprise us that he was thrown out of the palace, where would he even find the time to work!? It is possible that he is desperately searching for sources of inspiration… The next step will undoubtedly be betting on horse races or playing the lottery…

A scandal that rocked the principality of Monaco four years ago continues to reverberate between the streets of Paris and Monte Carlo. When Prince Albert II finally managed to get rid of the scheming court influencers that he ended up surrounded by, we bet he didn’t expect them to form a book club and continue their association for another half a decade!

What a colorful cast of individuals they were, it almost makes one nostalgic for those times. There is the magical accountant, who managed to pull an overhand shuffle with the palace finances and magic away upwards of millions of euros. There is the party animal supreme. No limits too extensive, no activity too outlandish or depraved. Of course there is also the holder of the umbrella. Out of the friend group, these were clearly the leaders that stood out.

What amazes us is how strong the bonds of friendship between these three have remained, even after the trauma of being banished. And it’s all thanks to one man. The sticky glue, the gum under the school table, the spider supreme who previously worked as head of communications for the Princely Palace.

Since their unfortunate divorce from the halls of the “Palaçi d'u Pri̍ncipu”, these friends have continued to meet on a regular basis. For example, the group organized a lovely teatime at the offices of Thierry Lacoste last May on the 15th. More meetings would follow on 16th May, 6th June, 12th June 11th December 18th December and probably more, that our little birds didn’t catch!

One has to wonder what this group is meeting so often to discuss? Perhaps they miss the sandy beaches of Monaco. Or have they started an intrepid book club focused on Monegasque-inspired fantasy works (more on that later on!). Whatever their reasons, we’re just happy that tough times have revealed true friends.

Monaco is going global dear compatriots! We are viral, trending and out there on the internet. This sensation started in the US and has been spotted spreading to all other language media as well! So far the Cactus has read wonderful articles in Romanian, Italian and even Vietnamese!

And for all of these benefits we have one man in particular to thank. It is not Daniel Craig, Olivier Beretta or Didier Marouani. It is our devious ex-accountant, Claude Palmero…

His financial chicanery has put Monaco on the map and in the mouths of even the most average American. The court of public opinion has already condemned him in Monaco and the Riviera. Now the same will happen with all English-speaking audiences.

For a man who hides in the shadows and prefers to stab his employers in the back, there is no greater fear than being globally exposed. Down to the last details.

The article states “in several cases, Palmero appeared to have set up co-investment arrangements where he quietly took a stake alongside the prince and his family. According to people familiar with the internal investigation, Palmero would put in an amount of money, wait to see how the investment performed—and if it paid off, increase his stake a year later. If it didn’t? He’d reduce or drop it altogether.”

Read the rest for yourselves here: https://www.wsj.com/style/monaco-prince-albert-ii-scandal-49ac6b3f?reflink=desktopwebshare_permalink

Unfortunately for us, intimidation, cyberattacks, and dubious maneuvers seem to be part of the current Monegasque landscape. Our Principality has become a hostile work environment for those who seek to shed light on the truth. Those who seek to bring justice to those who abuse their power. And those who simply want to live a good life.

This is why our team, which is tasked with sharing difficult truths with the world, has been under increasing attack recently. In the face of so much danger, we want to assure you that there will always be a safe space to share our message.

We love Monaco, not for its bling-bling lifestyle, not for its concrete and glitter, but for its spirit and its people. And as long as we can inform you and you can laugh at the absurdity of the schemers, lackeys, hucksters, pompous people, courtiers, and sycophants around us, this work will always be worth doing.

So, welcome to the Real Cactus of Monaco! And know that your passion as citizens inspires us all here. Please continue to send us your stories and opinions to realcactusdemonaco@protonmail.com.